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My grandfather (Mother's side of the family) was admitted to the hospital last weekend. I found out yesterday. He's old and his health had been declining rapidly over the last few years. He's had health problems on and off as long as I can remember and has been to the hospital multiple times for various reasons. I called him on my way home from work and it was... I don't really know what to say. He didn't recognize me at first, said that he didn't know anyone by my name. It felt like getting a kick right in the belly, but I repeated my name a few times more and then he recognized me. His mental health has never been a problem before. He's one of the brightest and most quick-thinking people I've ever met. Even when his physical health started to deteriorate, his mind was as sharp as ever. Now he seemed slightly confused and asked me at least three times where I was (I was on the train) and multiple times if someone else was with me (there wasn't).

Most of all, he seemed tired. Actually, it sounded like he had completely given up.

He was very happy to hear from me though, but then he said something... He said: "It's so good to hear from you! It's so nice of you to call me like this! But I... I haven't called you..." What are you talking about? You've called me many times in the past! "I meant to call... I should have called... Things just got in the way and I never got around to..."

I've never heard someone express so much regret in a single sentence before. The words were practically coated with it and I could tell he was fighting back tears. Then it hit me. One of the most common regrets expressed on the deathbed is supposedly: "I wish I had spent more time with my children/grandchildren."

It's not right. He deserves better. He always remembered my birthdays and even called me to congratulate me most of the time. Every now and then he would call out of the blue just to small talk. I did call him as well, but not nearly as much. He made it seem as if he had neglected me, failed me somehow, when it's really the other way around. Although I look up to him, I rarely visited. I'm not fond of family gatherings or events. Our family situation is complicated and I am introverted. He shouldn't beat himself up for that.

He is twice the man I am and a very kind and caring person. He doesn't deserve to spend the end of his life filled with regret.

deviantID

Berjj
Sweden
Biography? Pheh! Like you'd actually want to know!
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:iconr9a:
R9A Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2014
Thank you for the fav! :halfliquid:
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:iconberjj:
Berjj Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2014
Thank you for sharing your wonderful art. =)
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:iconr9a:
R9A Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2014
:)
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:iconsilverwingsoffire:
silverwingsoffire Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2014
Nerr...it has been eons and I miss this place. Think I could just reply to wall of texts?
Lol.
How are ya?
Gonna try my damndest to regain footing here!
;)
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:iconberjj:
Berjj Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2014
Hey! It's good to hear from you again! :)
I just sent you a note. I tried to make it brief but well, you know how that usually turns out, hehe.

I'm sorry for not replying to you much earlier.
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:iconsilverwingsoffire:
silverwingsoffire Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2014
Don't even worry about it, it's all good. I shall reply properly in due time. Just gonna submit some more shit. Hope your week is ending alrie. (:
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:iconberjj:
Berjj Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014
Well, I do worry. Can't very well just quit doing something when you're damn good at it! My weekend was awesome, though. At least that's what my hangover tells me. ;)

Take your time. I sure did.
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:iconsallyboujedli:
Sallyboujedli Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Thank you for the fav =)
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:iconberjj:
Berjj Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2013
You're welcome! Most of all I enjoyed the skin texture on the dark figure, it goes along well with the things emerging from his/her chest. Sorry about the late reply. I've been away from dA for quite a while and only visit for brief moments every now and then.
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:iconsallyboujedli:
Sallyboujedli Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
^^ Don't worry, thank you!
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